You are currently browsing the monthly archive for January 2011.
I love The Pixies; I love Kim Deal, and the Breeders were awesome, too. I know she and Black Francis didn’t get along, and that led to the breakup of the band before they ever really hit it big.
But they seemed to bury the hatchet and even reunited for tours in the early 2000s, and continue to tour today. That’s why I was shocked to see this picture of the band in an ad for the legendary band’s appearance in Toronto. No Kim Deal? What the hell? Is Frank Black on another of his ego trips? Like The Rolling Stones without Keith Richards, is it even The Pixies without Kim Deal?
What’s that? Really? Shit, I’m so embarrassed.
“Hello, Toronto, look at your man, now back to me, now back at your man, now back to me.
“Sadly, he isn’t the Mayor, but if he stopped riding his bike to work and switched to Old Spice, he could smell like he’s me.
“Look down, back up, where are you? You’re on a downtown road with not a single streetcar or bus in sight. The war on the car is over, remember? You’re welcome!
“What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s a new football stadium with two tickets to the SuperBowl that I brought to Toronto, because every world class city–at least in North America–has an NFL team. And I’m the coach and the linebacker who just sacked that pretty boy Tom Brady!
“Look, I know you just wanted a balanced budget and lower taxes but I was elected on a mandate to destroy years of public transit planning and bring an NFL team to Toronto! OK, maybe you weren’t around when I talked about that stuff, but I definitely discussed it with my election team over beer and pizza… we got so wasted! Anyway, I swear we can do all of this without raising taxes or cutting services that I care about… we went over the math and it all works perfectly! Of course, Dougy and I were pretty high that night…
“Look again, the tickets are now diamonds. Are you happy now? God, I can’t believe how ungrateful you are, after everything I’ve done for you… Grapes was right, you damn lefty pinkos.
“Anything is possible when your man smells like Old Spice and not a sweaty fat man, which is what you’re all thinking, isn’t it? That I smell bad? C’mon, I’m on a horse. Blame the horse, man!”
This ad is not approved by Rob Ford.
Giada
Natalie
Really, I don’t really understand why so many guys go completely nuts over Natalie Portman. Someone I know thought that it was because she might seem attainable to regular guys because she’s pretty but not gorgeous. But I know lots of guys who will swear up and down that she’s totally hot. I don’t see it. Look, I’m not saying I wouldn’t be happy to be dating someone who looked like Natalie, but as Kevin from The Office said, “It’s not ‘would I do her?’ it’s ‘Is she hot?’–respect the game!”
You loved Pride and Prejudice and Zombies! You thrilled to Android Karenina! You were confused by Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters! You didn’t think this trend would die quickly, did you? Coming soon, look for these new desperate attempts to make great books relevant to people who barely have the attention span required to watch a complete episode of How I Met Your Mother!
The Lion, the Witch and the War Drone
The Importance of Bleeding Ernest
The Year of the Blood
Steppenwolfman
Beast of Eden
From Her to Eternity
Of Mice and Wolfmen
The Naked and the Undead
Wuthering Bites
The stats helper monkeys at WordPress.com mulled over how this blog did in 2010, and here’s a high level summary of its overall blog health:
The Blog-Health-o-Meter™ reads This blog is on fire!.
Crunchy numbers
The average container ship can carry about 4,500 containers. This blog was viewed about 24,000 times in 2010. If each view were a shipping container, your blog would have filled about 5 fully loaded ships.
In 2010, there were 20 new posts, growing the total archive of this blog to 74 posts. There were 25 pictures uploaded, taking up a total of 1mb. That’s about 2 pictures per month.
The busiest day of the year was June 26th with 270 views. The most popular post that day was What Happens to Pixie Girls As They Age?.
Where did they come from?
The top referring sites in 2010 were en.wordpress.com, search.aol.com, bloglines.com, facebook.com, and twitter.com.
Some visitors came searching, mostly for pixie geldof, optical illusion, optical illusion pictures, steve guttenberg, and pixie.
Attractions in 2010
These are the posts and pages that got the most views in 2010.
1
What Happens to Pixie Girls As They Age? July 2009
1 comment
2
Perception Is a Tricky Thing September 2009
3
Superheroines Ask “Do these unstable-molecule cloth tights make my butt look fat?” February 2009
2 comments
4
Dakota Fanning is growing up. February 2009
5
Juicy Fruit’s Taste Moves Local Man to Kill August 2009
Center for Poor Karma & Pain 