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“When those preserves are ready you’re gonna pop those lids and it’s gonna be soooooo good!”

“You’re gonna wanna just stuff those peppers… Get that shit in there… Don’t force it!… But you’re gonna get them… So. Fucking. Full.”

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  • I like to think Doug Jones the actor, Doug Jones the Alabama senator, and Doug Jones the moustachioed relief pitcher are all the same guy. 2 days ago
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  • RT @TheTweetOfGod: I know for a fact that Donald Trump has a very small penis. Please retweet this enough that he can't help but respond.… 1 week ago
  • Just got cable TV for the first time since 2010. See you in 2018. Please send pizza. 2 weeks ago
  • "Maroon 5 is an assassination project! Start killing for me, Maroon 5--I don't like that *low number*" #heardonTTC 3 weeks ago

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