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Because even heroes deserve a nice, relaxing swim.

Leap before looking.

Do unto others as my whims dictate.

Say “fuck” more often.

Give peas a chance.

Direct my feet to the punny side of the street.

Masturbate to images that I should be ashamed of masturbating to.

Cut once; fuck that “measure” shit.

Spank that ass.

Have false gods before thee.

—–

2016 is going to be a hell of a year!

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2015 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

A San Francisco cable car holds 60 people. This blog was viewed about 1,800 times in 2015. If it were a cable car, it would take about 30 trips to carry that many people.

Click here to see the complete report.

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Toronto City Councillor and World War I flying ace Giorgio Mammoliti addresses the media moments before hopping into his Sopwith Camel to go shoot down the Red Baron. Mammoliti is convinced that there’s a vast conspiracy in Toronto targeted at and organized by City Councillors and their allies, designed to discredit Mayor Rob Ford, who was convicted of a conflict of interest violation, accused of threatening a reporter and giving the finger to a seven year-old girl, used city resources to benefit his family business and to help coach his football team, and involved in numerous other self-made scandals. Mammoliti, who can purportedly “smell” communism and is best known for his efforts to erect the largest flag pole in the world, taking his shirt off at City Hall to make a point, suggesting that the Toronto Islands be turned into a red light district, and who has been known to attend the Dyke March with a video camera, is conducting an investigation on his own, and will notify the police when he has sufficient evidence, or when he finds a mysterious one-thumbed man who he is convinced can explain all of his odd behaviour and shenanigans around City Hall.

Twitter Updates

  • It’s weird to think that Richard Benjamin was a huge movie star in the 70s 1 week ago
  • Saka, Xhaka, Wan-Bissaka #ARSMUN 2 weeks ago
  • I like that when there’s pasta in soup, and you leave it sit for a while, the soup becomes stew #foodie 1 month ago
  • RT @ohnoitskarin: A thing I think about a lot is the time that a boss told me that I needed to speak more softly and gently to be perceived… 2 months ago
  • There’s no sexier word in Canada right now than “coalition” 3 months ago

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