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Overheating is apparent based on the reddening epidermis and wisps of smoke emanating from aural ports.

Overheating of the DougFordBot unit is apparent based on reddening epidermis and wisps of smoke emanating from aural ports.

Despite being created and bankrolled by Canada’s very own Kennedy clan, the Fords of Etobicoke, DougFordBot 2000 has been showing clear signs that something is wrong. Whether a hardware issue or faulty programming, the sophisticated robot millionaire/non-politician appears to be seriously malfunctioning, and endangering itself and everyone around it.

The evidence includes:

  • a subprogram is leaving uncomfortable and inhuman delays between each blink of the eyes
  • attack mode target has switched from “gravy train” and “lie-berals” to “Chief of Police”
  • “Let me ask you a question, Jackson Proskow of Earth… zzzzt! Global News.”
  • the Third Law of Robotics (“A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law”) has somehow been overwritten to replace “existence” with “FordFamily” with the part about “does not conflict” disappearing altogether
  • DougFordBot 2000 has started to believe that it was self-made and owes its wealth and privilege to its own efforts alone

Attempts at taking DougFordBot 2000 offline and initiating repairs have so far been unsuccessful because the unit has constantly placed itself in front of the media, making a discrete reboot impossible.

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