You are currently browsing the monthly archive for November 2017.

Where are we as a nation that used to be proud of its beer heritage when by far the biggest displays in the Beer Store (don’t even get me started on the loss of that quirky and humble name, Brewer’s Retail) are Budweiser and Coors Light? Admittedly, Canadian and Blue aren’t good beers, but at least they’re ours. But not only have they been pushed to the margins of the store shelves, they lag in sales and aren’t even entirely Canadian-owned anymore. It makes me sad to walk into the Beer Store; Canadians used to boast that our beer was stronger (“why is American beer like having sex in a canoe? Because it’s fucking close to water”)–if not better–than American brews, but now our southern neighbours have colonized our alcohol consumption like they long ago did our movie theatres and fast food chains. Why, they’ve even got rid of the wall of beer, which we would stare at and often find some unusual brand that we’d think of trying before going for the safe but almost-adventurous 50 or Carling, in favour of a touch-screen menu.

Wake up, Ontario! You’ve lost your beer heritage and are in danger of losing your very identity!

Advertisements

Fuck you Mourinho

and your negative football

(even though it won us

three championships and we’re

forever grateful–KTBFFH)

and fuck you Fellaini,

the dirtiest player I’ve ever seen

and the ugliest, too

(Peter Crouch could pull birds

better than you, and he’d be a virgin

if he wasn’t a football star–

he admits it himself)

But it’s three points to the angels

and nil to the red devils,

all is right in the world

for one more week

at least.

Twitter Updates

Blog Stats

  • 85,414 hits

Pages

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 104 other followers

Advertisements