You are currently browsing the monthly archive for June 2014.

– Subways to Newfoundland!

– Hanging out with Vladimir Putin drinking vodka!

– Knocking over Angela Merkel at the G7!

– Calling for a lynch mob rather than agreeing to keeping Veterans Affairs offices open!

– Apologizing to all the k*kes, w*ps, d*gos, and n**gers for past treatment! Or not!

– Personally welcoming Jamaican ambassador to Canada using “authentic” patois!


Look, I know this is two Rob Ford posts in a row, and that they’re not even my best work on the subject. I try not to let this blog be dominated by Rob Ford; I try to write about other things, and hopefully make people laugh. But with Rob coming back in three days from Fake Rehab, and with the idea that maybe, in these two months that he’s been away, people have forgotten how awful he is, I thought I’d remind everyone of some of the horrible things he’s done and said. Don’t be fooled by the stories he’ll weave when he comes back to Toronto, how he’s changed, he’s learned some hard truths about himself, and that it’s time to move on from the past. He’ll try to tell us that actions speak louder than words, that no one can match his record, and that he’s the only candidate who really understands the voters and will stick up for them. I wish him all the best in recovering from his addictions, substance abuse, ties with criminals, and otherwise appalling lack of good judgement. But until he actually, sincerely, apologizes for any of the things he’s done–and this is something he’s never done–he doesn’t deserve our attention, respect, or forgiveness.

Please don’t get caught up in the narrative that makes Toronto and this very important upcoming election all about Rob Ford. That’s what he and his brother want. They’re counting on sympathy and alienation to win this election. Don’t give it to them. Judge him on his actual record–as a racist, homophobe, bully, and spanner in the works of the kind of good government this city deserves–not on the fictitious and self-serving record he wants you to believe.

On June 30th, let’s all turn our backs on Rob Ford.

V for Gra-V Train

V for Gra-V Train

I get the impression that if Mayor Rob Ford watched any movies besides Cobra he’d fundamentally misunderstand the point anyway. He’d watch V for Vendetta and imagine himself and the Progressive Conservatives in the role of V, with the climactic scene of 10,000 V-masked protesters finally taking a stand against their unfeeling and repressive government reimagined as Ford Nation in Rob masks descending on City Hall to put an end to the Gravy Train.

Or picture this: a brutal general asks “Who is Rob Ford?” and one by one the beaten-down masses rise up and declare, “I’m Rob Ford!” “No, I’m Rob Ford!!”

Doug Ford would sympathize with Anakin Skywalker, slaughtering the young Jedi padawans, all for the greater good, and to protect the neighbourhood.

– Many of the players will never, in their entire careers, touch the ball, let alone score

– For such a supposedly tough sport, there are an awful lot of rules about what you can and can’t do to tackle

– The extreme macho bullshit

– The scoring system is complicated and arbitrary

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