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Tiny Cars for Tiny Hands?

Tiny Cars for Tiny Hands?

Reading Rainbow – encourages children to read books but never has an episode about The Art of the Deal. Sad!

Planned Parenthood – who needs to plan parenthood? Just grab ‘em by the pussy and whatever happens, happens. (Always have a rock-solid pre-nup though, since women are always after your money.)

The Shriners – Anti-American tiny cars. When did America stop winning? When we stopped having big cars. Also, those things don’t run on coal so they’re destroying American jobs!

4-H Club – Animal husbandry, are you kidding me? Marriage is supposed to be between one man and one woman, then another woman whenever he wants to switch things up.

The Democrats – Losers. Always whining about how they won the popular vote. Since when is being President a popularity contest? By the way, they didn’t actually win the popular vote, I did. If I’d wanted to win the popular vote I would have done it. Next time I will, believe me. Looking to beat Stalin’s record of 99.9% in 2020!

Twitter Updates

  • Is Adam Sandler a secret Andy Kaufman acolyte? Is the fact that his Netflix special is unfunny what makes it funny? 2 days ago
  • “Do you want to see the Messiah?” “I think I’d like to.” “You can’t Handel the Messiah!!” 1 week ago
  • There’s never going to be an Ambush Bug movie is there? 1 week ago
  • Just remembered that Hamburger Helper and Rice-a-Roni exist 2 weeks ago
  • Fool me once, shame on me, fool me twice... well, you’re a magician so it’s your job, isn’t it? Carry on. 2 weeks ago

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