You are currently browsing the tag archive for the ‘taxes’ tag.

Toronto is still eight months away from the start of the long 2014 election campaign–although if you listen to the Mayor and his brother you’d be excused for thinking we’ve been in the middle of an election for the past six months–and yet the issues that will likely dominate already seem to be coalescing. Here is a sneak preview of what will be on every candidate’s lips in less than a year:

  • Subways, subways, subways
  • No one has done more for _____ than _____
  • Taxes, taxes, taxes
  • At the end of the day, Toronto needs _____, not _____
  • Efficiencies, folks, efficiencies
  • Casinos, casinos, casinos
  • These damn streetcars clogging up our streets
  • Jets, jets, jets
  • The people can’t afford the things that the people are demanding that they want
  • Respect, respect, respect

I don’t know about you, but if you’re like Rob Ford and hate the actual business of governing, and can’t wait for this session of City Council to be over and the election season of strident name-calling, empty catchphrases and soon-to-be-broken promises to begin, 2014 can’t come soon enough!

Rob Ford DrunkOK, I know what you’re thinking–“Dude, lay off the Mayor… the ‘Rob Ford is a drunk’ stories are so three weeks ago!” But at the time those stories came out, I had become so disillusioned with our Mayor that I couldn’t even bring myself to make fun of him. It was all just too much, too embarrassing, too constant, his foibles and missteps. Maybe I even felt bad for him. Had a line been crossed? Had the media delved too far into his personal life? Where should the line be drawn between public and personal lives anyway? So the Mayor likes to drink; so do I. Sometimes he drinks too much; so do I. What would I think if certain of my escapades had become front-page fodder? Had we reached the point where Rob Ford’s everyman appeal had found a resonance with my own values?

Maybe.

But more than anything I just wanted to be reading about important issues facing Toronto–the potential for a downtown casino, how we’re going to pay to fight gridlock, in general making this city a better place–and not about Mayor Ford’s personal troubles.

Since the headlines questioning Ford’s drinking habits, he’s actually kept his nose pretty clean: no new scandals. Sure, he still says stupid things, and I still disagree with almost every opinion that comes out of his mouth, but at least he’s been talking about policies, and taxes, and a vision for the city, even if his vision is amazingly petty and narrow.

But in my own way, I’m petty, too. And I just couldn’t let these jokes at the Mayor’s expense sit unused, languishing in the recesses of my notebook. Let’s hope that these kinds of jokes represent the past, and that we won’t see their like again; let’s hope that when we talk about Rob Ford in the future, it’ll be about his politics, not his behaviour.

Your Coverage of City Hall Makes the Mayor Drink

“Just a little sippy before this transit vote…”

“I can stop anytime I want, just like I stopped the gravy train. Boom! See what I did there?”

Toronto: Where Proposing a Toast to the Mayor’s Health is Now a Controversial Political Act

“Forget subways–what I really want is a motorboat, ifyaknowhatimean!”

In all seriousness, I hope that if Rob Ford has problems with alcohol or drugs, that he gets the help he needs, and listens to those close to him who care about him and risked so much by talking to the media.

"Mayor? I thought I was running for village idiot!"

“Bicycle lanes are for Communists… if they really loved this country they’d buy a big SUV and drive downtown to work, and have another one in the garage so Mom can drive to the corner store.  I’d help traffic flow by banning bikes, buses, and streetcars from our streets, and expand parking by tearing down that AGO-thingy and building a big garage.”

“People on welfare shouldn’t get this so-called ‘Special Diet Supplement’–it’s a waste of the taxpayer’s money.  If they’re hungry they have plenty of babies they can eat… I know what the liberal media is going to say about that… ‘A lot of them come from cultures where they don’t eat meat’… well, I say if you’re going to come to this country you need to adjust to our culture, and if that means eating a few babies, then so be it.  By the way, the bonus is that they happen to be delicious!”

“I’ve long made a stand against frivolous government spending, and I live it every day–I haven’t used a cent of my Councillor’s office budget… in fact, I’ve paid them for office supplies!  I think the whole city could learn from my example, and we could cut so much waste… every time I go to the store and get a receipt, I think ‘That paper’s coming right off the company’s bottom line, and that employee isn’t contributing anything!  Would it kill her to buy her own receipt rolls?’  Another example of savings is that I always get my dealer to throw in rolling papers for free… see, Rob Ford is watching every nickel and dime bag!”

Twitter Updates

Archives

Blog Stats

  • 86,039 hits

Pages

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 109 other followers