You are currently browsing the tag archive for the ‘porn’ tag.

Pork Her and Bess

Fanny Girl

Starlight Undress

Submitted by atandt:

Whacking in the Park with George

All That Jizz

West Siiiide Story

Gentlemen Prefer Bondage

Les Jizzerables

Everybody Says I Bang You

The Hummer-brellas of Cherbourg

Miss Suckon

Submitted by Fabrication Generation:

The Lion Cunt

Little Shot of Horror

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If they made Three’s Company today, Jack would be gay but pretending to be straight to stay in an apartment in Mississippi. Chrissy and Janet would be lesbians because that’s how Hollywood works.

“I’d like a salad, and make it Greek.” “You mean stick it up your ass?” (Based on the myth that the Greeks invented sodomy.)

Top pet peeves about porn: 1) Bald guys, 2) French manicure press-on nails, 3) those guys with cocks that are half-albino, 4) directors audibly giving instructions on how to fuck or hitting on the actors. (Based on watching way too much porn.)

Come for the cock–stay for the cum! (Based on the old restaurant slogan “Come for the steak, stay for the pie.”)

“Truth is stranger than fiction.” “Oh yeah? Well you’re uglier than fiction!”

Stop! You had me at “tits.” (Based on the Jerry Maguire line “Stop! You had me at “hello.”)

Happiness is a warm pussy. (Based on the Charlie Brown meme “Happiness is a warm puppy.”)

 

A candle-lit, low-ceilinged stone room. Tapestries hang on the walls. There’s a regular dripping noise barely audible and the sense of unavoidable dampness. Three men–a Lord and his vassals–sit at a table, while a fourth man, dressed as a medieval wizard, paces in front of them carrying a thin, rectangular object. He speaks…

Wizard: Sire, gentlemen, may I introduce: the computer internet! [he opens the laptop with a flourish and sets it on the table in front of the men]

1st Man: What magic is this?! How these images dance before my very eyes!

Lord: I have seen nothing like this in all my realm! Is this some crystal ball of unmatched clarity?

2nd Man: Aaannd… I’ve found the porn.

All: Yay!

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