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Manny RamirezJust days into his 50-day suspension for testing positive for performance enhancing drugs (PEDs), Manny Ramirez is once again coming under fire for violating Major League Baseball’s anti-doping policy.  As part of the suspension process, the Los Angeles Dodgers slugger must submit to weekly follow-up tests during his time away from his team, which boasts the best record in baseball.  Shockingly, the latest test on Ramirez revealed the presence of another banned substance, Altoids.  A spokesman for Ramirez, who speaks English in a charmingly inept fashion, questioned why Altoids, a popular breath freshener, would be included on a list of drugs that are known to aid in athletic performance.  “It’s just a breath mint,” the source said, adding that it was just another case of “Manny-being-Manny”, as well as “Manny-having-halitosis”, although he was unwilling to comment on the significance of Altoids being “curiously strong”, and cut the press conference short.  This file photo from 2007, when Ramirez played for the Boston Red Sox, was once thought to be merely a humorous shot of the left-fielder picking his nose, but is now suspected to show Ramirez injecting Altoids nasally.

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