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“You May Be Right”
Friday night I crashed your dancefloor
Every day I say I’m sorry
Sunday comes and cracks me out again
I was only having pops
Now my radio show’s stopped
And we all enjoyed the weekend for a change
–
I called Sandro on the wiretapped phone
I walked through Doug Ford Park alone
Even drove my Escalade all-terrain
And you told me not to drive
But I made it home alive
So you said that only proves that I’m insane
–
You may be right
I may be crazy
But then it just may be politics you’re playing
Turn off the mics
Don’t try to quote me
I called you maggots–that’s what I know
And I know I’m right
–
Remember how I found you there
Streetcars messin’ up St. Clair
I called them gravy trains until you smiled
You were lonely for a man
I said “Take me as I am”
‘Cause you might enjoy some anger for awhile
–
Now think of all the years you tried to
Find someone to justify you
I might be the average guy you say
If I’m crazy then it’s true
That I did it all for you
And you wouldn’t want me any other way
–
You may be right
I may be crazy
But I just may be the hero that you’re looking for
It’s too late to fight
It’s too late to change me
You may be wrong for all I know
But I know I’m right
–
You may be right
I may be crazy
But it just may be a cost cowboy you’re looking for
Turn out the light
Don’t try to tape me
You may be cops for all I know
But then I’m drunk
You may be wrong but I know I’m right
You may be wrong but I know I’m right
—–
[with sincere apologies to Billy Joel and the people of Toronto]
“My defence is that you’re all liars.”
“That never happened, and if it did, it was because I was drunk.”
“The kids!”
“The football players!!”
“The black football players!!!”
“Folks…”
“It’s not a conflict if I never understood the rules in the first place.”
“Err, Doug, maybe you shouldn’t… <sigh>”
“I do not understand math.”
“________? I don’t know the meaning of the word.”
“Do you wanna step outside?”
