If they made Three’s Company today, Jack would be gay but pretending to be straight to stay in an apartment in Mississippi. Chrissy and Janet would be lesbians because that’s how Hollywood works.

“I’d like a salad, and make it Greek.” “You mean stick it up your ass?” (Based on the myth that the Greeks invented sodomy.)

Top pet peeves about porn: 1) Bald guys, 2) French manicure press-on nails, 3) those guys with cocks that are half-albino, 4) directors audibly giving instructions on how to fuck or hitting on the actors. (Based on watching way too much porn.)

Come for the cock–stay for the cum! (Based on the old restaurant slogan “Come for the steak, stay for the pie.”)

“Truth is stranger than fiction.” “Oh yeah? Well you’re uglier than fiction!”

Stop! You had me at “tits.” (Based on the Jerry Maguire line “Stop! You had me at “hello.”)

Happiness is a warm pussy. (Based on the Charlie Brown meme “Happiness is a warm puppy.”)

 

Advertisements