The latest buzz around Ottawa:

“Congratulations to the new leader of the NDP. You know who else has a beard? Castro. Just sayin’…”

“Did you think we meant that the F-35s would cost nine billion dollars? No, no, no… we were always talking in terms of pounds… they’re going to cost nine billion pounds! It’s standard accounting procedure.”

“The Royal Canadian Oil Sands are a proud part of the Canadian tradition of self-sufficiency, determination, and ingenuity. Canadian.”

“Rob Ford? I’ve never met the man, let alone went on a secluded fishing trip with him.”

“The Prime Minister has paid the full ticket price for each hockey game he’s attended while in office. Wink!”

“C’mon, you didn’t really think you’d be able to retire at 65 anyway, did you? With all the money we’re gonna spend on fighter jets? Tell you what, we’ve got plenty of new jobs as prison guards right around the corner… how’d you like that?”

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