United States

“Those Marines who urinated on the dead Taliban shouldn’t face criminal charges–they’re just 18 or 19-year old kids, after all. It’s not like they’re mentally handicapped, who I believe are fully responsible, and should be punished to the full extent of the law, including the death penalty.” -Rick Perry, Governor of Texas

Syria

“Hello? Is anyone out there? Would you help protect us if we told you we had oil?” -Syrian citizens everywhere

Canada

“Big Environment is out to destroy this country, and destroy jobs, and Ethical Oil and the Conservative Party are the only ones standing in the way. Won’t you please call your MP and let them know that you’re sick of buying oil from the Middle East, that it’s time we support Canadian jobs by raping our own environment? Oh, and boycott bananas!” -EthicalOil.org

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