I’ve recently been copying music from my parents’ LP collection (mostly from the 1960s) onto CDs; they have a small but eclectic collection, a mix of country, easy listening, and movie soundtracks… and only a single Elvis album and one Beatles amongst them. If anyone doubts that the world has changed, some of the write-ups on the backs of the albums are really of their time. In the first of an ongoing series, I’m going to reproduce verbatim some of the copy on the back of Ray Martin and His Orchestra’s “Goldfinger and Other Music from James Bond Thrillers.”

007 is the most exciting number since topless bathing suits, seventy-six trombones, the Irish Sweepstakes winner or Elizabeth Taylor.

007 is one of the great all-time emergency numbers like Dial M for Murder, that unlisted one between the White House and the Kremlin, or the Daily Double. It is also the serial number for the most appealing, devastating secret agent since incense and candlelight.

James Bond is the inspired 007: Sir Hocus-Pocus; Lord Hokum; Duke of Deviltry; a combination of the Royal Marines, the FBI, the Rangers and Houdini; a name that makes Casanova sound like a Brazilian supper club. He scales super-heights in the erasure of inhuman Bondage and sparks romantic ideas for the timid, the tiresome and others who can’t even entertain an opinion.

. . . 007 is more than a laundry mark on James Bond shirts these days. Ladies monogram their lingerie with it. Young girls design dreams around it. Older matrons sit around and doodle with it.

Advertisements