"Hey Justin, how many pubes today?"

Sixteen-year old pop sensation Justin Bieber is an idol for millions of rabid fans, a teenage heart-throb, and a habitual trending topic on Twitter only months after bursting onto the music scene.  He is the first artist to have seven songs from a debut album chart on Billboard’s Hot 100 chart.  His debut single charted in the top 30 in more than ten countries, and new hit song “Baby” is an international smash.  He is also totally freaking out about the hair that has begun to grow around his genitals.

Bieber is one of the youngest musical guests to ever appear on Saturday Night Live.  After a fierce bidding war which included strong interest from Justin Timberlake, the adorable singer/dancer was signed by Usher to Island Records in late 2008.  Hard-working as well as talented, Bieber taught himself to play the piano, drums, guitar, and trumpet.  He is also wondering why these curly black hairs have suddenly appeared and if anyone else has ever had this sort of thing happen to them.

Bieber performed for U.S. President Barack Obama at the White House for Christmas in Washington, which was broadcast on December 20, 2009, and days later was also one of the performers at Dick Clark’s Rockin’ New Year’s Eve on December 31, 2009. He was a presenter at the Grammy Awards on January 31, 2010, and was invited to be a vocalist for the remake of “We Are the World” for its 25th anniversary to benefit Haiti after the earthquake.  Seriously, this is so gross and why does he have to be such a freak with ugly hair growing down there?

Bieber will begin recording his next album in the summer of 2010 in New York City. British singer/songwriter Taio Cruz has confirmed he is writing on Bieber’s next project.  That is, until he finds out that Bieber is some kind of wolfman or something… I mean, c’mon, this is like THE WORST THING EVER!!!  EPIC FAIL!!!

Bieber’s voice is now deeper than it was when he recorded his albums because of puberty.  The singer, discussing his vocals, remarked, “It cracks. Like every teenage boy, I’m dealing with it and I have the best vocal coach in the world. […] Some of the notes I hit on “Baby” I can’t hit anymore. We have to lower the key when I sing live.”  His trademark grin fading, Bieber adds: “Plus, I have freaking hair growing all around my wiener… why isn’t anyone teaching me how to deal with that?!  Fame and crazy fans I can handle, but pubes?  Oh, baby, baby!  I can’t take it!!

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